I received the sad news early Tuesday morning and knew straight away the tangi would be held in Te Teko at the whanau marae. I felt extreme sadness for their loss, particularly because it was someone so young - in fact only 4 years old and I posted on facebook how undeniably heartbreaking it must be for the whanau. My thoughts continued to ponder about how difficult it has been to loose a loved one for me, however I haven't been placed in a situation where they have been so young and I hope I never get to experience it - EVER!! Life is to be lived and children are suppose to grow old and die after you - not before. Aren't they?
When the news was confirmed the tangi would be in Te Teko, I made the arrangements to go. I hadn't seen the whanau all together for a very long time and although this was a sad event that would reunite me with the whanau, I was looking forward to seeing them again and offering my support.
The journey down was cold and wet. Again, my thoughts diverted to when I used to travel down to Kawerau & Rotorua frequently to stay with the Pryors and how it had been a long time since I had made the journey. Seeing particular landmarks brought back fond memories of how much fun I had down there with the whanau. At that point, I regretted my own daughters didn't make this journey with me.
We arrived in Te Teko and as expected, it was very sad. I had seen "dad" Selwyn quite a few times over the years and we embraced once again and he thanked me for coming. The whanau performed the haka for little Jaxon as he left the marae which bought tears to my eyes and without words I embraced my friend Fonda. We have known each other since high school and had gone through alot together, therefore words weren't needed. A similar embrace was given to "son" Selwyn at the urupa (cemetery). Again, no words, but the emotion of a long embrace.
I remember feeling very emotional again at the urupa when I saw Gord and his partner Liz standing at the foot of the grave embracing with such sadness knowing the final physical moments with their son was coming to an end. As I approached Gord I fought to hold back the tears, but couldn't - we quietly embraced with silent tears.
"Mum", Karen had travelled back from England for the tangi and she proceeded to thank me after we had embraced. It really had been a long journey for her and it showed. The last person was Kathie or "Dukes". I had seen her a number of times over the years, and this time she looked physically tired. Again, it was another warm embrace with her thanking me for being there.
I was so overwhelmed, not because of seeing the whanau again, but more at the fact that they expressed so much love thanking ME for being at the tangi. I remember thinking how wrong that was, for it was ME who was so grateful to THEM for allowing me an opportunity to be apart of them and their lives.
I reflected more on my way home as I listened to my mother snoring in the passengers seat. The Pryor whanau truly are good people and although they are filled with sadness now, I know as each day comes, so will a shining and positive horizon for them all.
Although I never met Jaxon, I'm extremely grateful he reunited me with the Pryors. This whanau really do hold a very special place in my heart and I look forward to seeing them all again in the near future.
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